And so we come to the end. The message is in the journey.
The T20 competition drags its money making behemoth backside to its end.
We finally got a win last time out and, with a twist of fate we definitely do not deserve, we now have Glamorgan – the only team even vaguely as dreadful as us.
A win here might move us off the bottom of the table, which would be the most unjust result in the history of competition cricket.
But I’ll take it.
Everyone is still away coining it in or injured, so I’m leaving the team as is.
We win the toss. Honestly, it feels like a miracle.
The weather looks like it’s going to bend round corners and then clear up. We bowl.
Chris Jordan takes the new nut just like last time out.
Second ball, David Knowles is drawn into a false stroke. Nothing doing.
However, David Lloyd and Knowles then plunder him for 14 runs.
The pair of them also set about Mitchell Claydon from the other end. After two overs, they’re 24-0.
Jordan’s return yields the wicket of Lloyd with an excellent ball trapping him lbw. 25-1.
South African Colin Ingram comes in. Ingram has 31 one day international and 9 T20 caps.
However, all he has here is an off stump spattered on the ground for a big fat quacker. 25-2.
Ingram’s fellow left hander, Billy Root, smacks Jordan for a boundary first ball. But England international Jordan is not deterred, as he traps him lbw as well.
Jordan has taken 3 for 5 in this over. He’s on it here.
Our first change pair, Ravi Bopara and Aaron Thomason, come on to bowl.
Perennial pain in the posterior, Nick Selman, has been plundering our bowling and rushed to 39 off 23.
The only player designed even more often to give me the sensation of angry haemorrhoids – Ravi – draws him into a thick outside edge first ball. We drop him like the ball is on fire.
Despite what his personal sheet says, I ask Bopara to bowl really far up on a yorker length.
Selman is gone for 42, Ravi doing what he – apparently – does best. 81-4.
While Monty Panesar and Shehan Jayasuriya turns their arms over, Chris Cooke races to 27.
But then Monty pitches one outside off-stump which turns square and traps him. Dead man walking. 123-5.
Joe Cooke walks out, chips one to Thomason at deep mid wicket and walks back in again. 124-6.
Graham Wagg might need to set the tail …
Well, you know the rest.
He doesn’t. And Jayasuriya is on a hat trick.
South African Marchant de Lange is up for the third ball. We push the field setting to ludicrously aggressive.
No run. No hat trick.
David Knowles has quietly carried his bat and made 56 off 51 deliveries.
But – last ball of the innings – he chips one to Jordan at first slip off Jayasuriya and we clear them out for 149-8.
Going on last form, it’s probably more than we can chase, but if the weather behaves we might just be able to do it.
Luke Wright and Laurie Evans take Dutchman Timm van der Gugterr for 14 in the opening over. I’ve seen this sort of beginning before. It all goes Pete Tong from here….
Actually, it doesn’t.
At least not yet.
De Lange gets Evans snicking behind to Chris Cooke and the big man is gone for 26 from 12. 40-1.
Wright has allowed himself to be bogged down. Michael Hogan eventually gets him for 22 from 24. 78-2.
72 runs to go at 6.4 per over.
Jayasuriya follows up his 3-30 by making 32 from 23 balls. But Hogan still uproots his off stump with absolutely no ceremony whatsoever. 85-3.
65 to chase.
Gone for 7. From 11 balls. 94-4.
56 to get.
Delray Rawlins and George Munsey were at the heart of a decent platform last time out, and here they do the same thing again.
Munsey gets bowled by Root for 10 but he has moved us on. 116-5.
34 to get at 7.5 an over.
Jonty Jenner joins Rawlins at the crease. We continue to progress, chasing this total down, run by run, ball by ball.
The penultimate over: 16 from 12 to get.
The final over. 14 from 6 balls.
Jonty takes a single.
Rawlins on strike.
Boundary. 9 from 4.
A great piece of fielding, a single. 8 from 3.
8 from 2.
Edge to third man. Single.
7 from 1. No ball or bust.
We lose by 5 runs.
Rawlins has made 30 from 21 and Jenner 17 from 17. We’ve played well here and still managed to concoct a way of not winning.
13 defeats was probably too much to make up, in fairness.
The next game is for my new job as coach of the London Blue 100 franchise.
Another stupid form of cricket I don’t enjoy or value. Sometimes this game wears me out.